Lying In Bed Just Like Owen Wilson Did

I was walking past this woman's desk and she goes, "You look like Owen Wilson."

And I said, "Really? Umm...thank you?"

And she said, "Yeah. Right after he tried to kill himself."

I said, "That seems overly harsh. How long ago did it take you to think of that?"

She said, "I just thought of it now."

I said, "Last night?"

She said, "Earlier this morning."

I said, "Ah."

She said, "Seriously, though. Get a haircut."

I said, "I know. I have been meaning to."

She said, "Fuck 'meaning to.'"

I said, "Whoa, whoa."

She said, "Okay sorry. But are you going to?"

I said, "I could tell you I am, but I would have said that last week and I still haven't. So what do you want me to say?"

She said, "I don't care anyway, I don't even know why we're talking about it."

I said, "You had to make your stupid joke."

She said, "Well this whole thing seems contrived anyway."

I said, "Maybe, but I really don't want to go back to work."

She said, "Well you probably should unless you want to get fired."

I said, "Maybe I do..."

She said, "No you don't."

I said, "I know. Soo....whatelse, whatelse, whatelse.."

She said, "Go sit down."

I said, "Okay."

She said, "And fix the internet in your house."