Saturday, August 20, 2005

Oh my god, ya know who you look like??

No but please tell me! It's getting a bit ridiculous. I can't leave the house without being told that I look like some actor. I know what you're thinking, "Easy, Brown, you're not a superstar." Well no fuckin duh. The point is that these are not flattering comparisons. There's nothing to brag about here, its just a weird thing for anyone to do, especially with these names. Here's a quick run-down of the ones off the top of my head: Topher Grace, Devon Sawa, Adrien Brody, and the new one this week, T.R. Knight.

Topher "Dont call me Chris" Grace
If you had to be stuck with one, I guess Topher Grace is the best of the bunch. There's no real denying that we look and act a bit alike so it doesn't really bother me. On the other hand its the one I hear the most so it gets old fast. I was once watching "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" when a 9 year old girl in the room whom I had just met blurted out, "Bryan looks like that guy." Upon re-reading that it sounds so made up, but the sad part is that its true. I have no good explanation for why I was in such a scenario.

Devon "Little Giants" Sawa
This one I don't see at all, but a little filipino girl would say otherwise. She was very convinced that we looked alike and that this was a big compliment. I'm not sure either of those are true. This one came at the tail-end of a month of "Topher" comments (right around when "In Good Company" came out) so I thought it was a practical joke. The only reason it sounded believable at all is that any dumb girl who would play such a joke wouldn't use a name like Devon Sawa. In fact by the end of the conversation I was slightly impressed that she even knew such a name. The best part, though, was when I was relaying this story to my friend Pete. As soon as I say Devon Sawa, he doesn't miss a beat and jumps in, "From Little Giants! That's awesome, great movie." I guess its all about perspective, he used to be a stud.

Adrien "I won't even dignify this with a nickname" Brody
The night I heard this I almost jumped out of a window. Of course I didn't really do it, the house was only two stories. This girl Stephanie brought some random Puerto Rican friend with her to our friend Landy's house. From the second she walked in the door this bitch was the mouth from the south (although her painfully faked accent was trying to show you how brooklyn she was). She was a year older and this was her birthday, so she acted like it was beneath her for being at a college kid's house. Well I'm pretty sure I don't remember us calling you to come over and watch us drink and watch basketball, but alright. So she's shuckin and jivin the whole time and I haven't said a word until she looks me over and goes, "You look like someone." I braced myself for the usual Topher Grace line but instead was hit by the Adrien Brody train. I was taken aback, stunned, speechless. Didn't play it off cool, no one-liners back from me, not even a frantic string of curses thrown in her direction. Just Mouth-Open-Game-7-in-the-2001-World-Series shock. Stephanie was an angel in attempting to re-assure me that her friend actually likes Adrien Brody and I'm good-looking, etc, etc. I didn't buy it for a second but at least it staved off suicide. Days later I found out that the girl actually does like Adrien Brody. In fact she was repeatedly asking Stephanie about me and was unaware that I was actually insulted. I figured Stephanie was shining me on until I ran into the Puerto Rican girl at Olde Queens. She flagged me down and actually confessed that she thought I was sooo cute and she didn't mean to be mean. This was a small consolation but of course nothing deserving of a "second chance" so I blew her off and found another girl to talk to in front of her. This was back in my player days. I had to include that part to make me sound cool and make up for the rest of the story.

T.R. "Down Syndrome" Knight
The latest celebrity sighting. Here's the conversation:

Dumb Girl: You know who you look like?
Bryan Brown: I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
DG: You look like the doctor from Grey's Anatomy.
BB: Is that show still on the air?
DG: Yes its great! But really you look just like him, its uncanny.
BB: Well I've never really watched it but I used to see him on Northern Exposure. He's good I like him.
DG: No, no, not him, the other guy. The one everyone thought was gay.
BB: Oh of course! How stupid of me. I should've realized that I look like "the gay one." I'm glad you came up to me to tell me this.
DG: Nooo silly he's not gay, everyone just thought he was. But he's not gay, he's the guy who just got herpes.
BB: The hits just keep comin.
DG: Yeah you look like you were separated at birth.
BB: So I look like a guy everyone thinks is gay and really has herpes. Well I appreciate that. Can we play Ya Know Who You Look Like now?

Brilliant conversation. I think the only people that come up to me are the ones who never leave their house and haven't conversed with another human being in years. After this discussion I had to see what this guy looks like and I found out that he has a third affliction: down syndrome. Check him out. Gay, herpes, and down syndrome. Didn't think anyone could top Adrien Brody, did you? Does anyone else do this? I personally have never approached anyone and told them they look like some C-list celebrity. I don't think I've even done it in familiar company. And does this happen to anyone else? Hey, maybe I'm over-reacting. If anyone out there can tell me that different people have come up to them and told them that they look like Frankie Muniz, Rob Schneider, Brecken Meyer, and Dwight Yoakam, then maybe I won't take it so personally. Until then lets just not run up to anyone and blurt out every little thought we have in our head.

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