Adam Jones' Brain: That was amazing. What a game! I can't believe we went a year without playing football!
Adam Jones' Legs: Hell yeah, man. I'm tired as shit but it was worth it. So much fun gettin back out there.
Adam Jones' Hands: Word, son. I'm gonna have a hun'id innaceptions.
Brain: Okay, okay I'm excited too. But we still have work to do, boys. Their only touchdown was a result of your pass interference penalty, Hands.
Hands: Say what?! Yo that was Legs' fault. All Legs, boy.
Legs: Fuck that, I was in position. You got lazy, Hands.
Brain: No matter, no matter. The most important thing is that the team won. But we still have a lot of work to do. Let's get back in the gym and prepare for the Philadelphia Eagles!
Legs: Nah, man. I'm too tired.
Brain: But what about next week?
Legs: I got nothin in the tank. I need a break. I can barely move.
Hands: Cmon, Brain. We got til Monday. Free day, yo!
Brain: I suppose you're right about that.
Legs: Let's just cool out.
Brain: Okay then. So what do you want to do tonight?
Legs: I dunno dude.
Hands: Whatever's clever.
Adam Jones' Dick: Wanna go to the strip club?
Brain: I'm sorry? Did you say something, Dick?
Dick: I said.....wanna go to the strip club.
Brain: What the fuck?! Are you kidding me, Dick? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
Hands: Whoa, whoa, easy playboy.
Dick: Why would you talk to me like that?
Brain: Wha...wha...what are you saying. I don't know what you're saying. I didn't hear that.
Dick: Listen-
Brain: No!
Dick: Just hear me out!
Legs: Brain, listen to him, man. We all in this together.
Brain: Ugh. You're right, Legs. Fine. Go ahead, Dick. I apologize for my language.
Dick: Look, all I'm sayin is. We back in the league, right? We 1-0, right? We been good, right? Why can't we just relax in the club?
Brain: I listened. The answer is no.
Dick: It won't be like the old days. I've changed. We've all changed. Have we even gotten in trouble in the past 12 months?
Brain: Yes! Hands punched a stripper in the eye in January!
Hands: ...Why you gotta bring up old shit...
Dick: But! We didn't get arrested.
Brain: Because I paid her off!
Dick: Look we can go back and forth all night. I think we all know that our rightful place is in that strip club. We need that strip club. We make the strip club. We are the strip club.
Brain: What the fuck does that mean?
Legs: I'm in.
Brain: WHAT?! You said you couldn't even move.
Legs: Fuck it.
Brain: Umm, "Fuck it?"
Hands: You heard him, you fuckin nerd. (sings) We goin striiiiip cluuuub. We goin striiiip cluuub.
Brain: Gentlemen, please. Let's just discuss this like civilized-
Dick: What's up, Balls. You in?
Adam Jones' Balls: Ehh, I don't know. I'm partial to Hooters, personally.
Hands: Shiiit we went to Hooters for your ass last time.
Dick: Why would you take Hooters over a strip club?
Balls: I like to have a bit of mystery.
Dick: That is retarded.
Balls: Ya know what? You're a DICK.
Dick: Wow, that's really fresh. Never heard that one. Original.
Legs: Fuck this noise. I'm walkin.
Brain: Legs, stop. Look we don't have to-
Hands: Can I slap a bitch?
Brain: No!
Dick: Yes.
Brain: NO! What the fuck, Dick?!
Dick: We're goin, Brain. You know it and I know it. You may as well come with.
Brain: I will NOT.
Dick: Suit yourself. But you know what happens when you don't come. Things get....unfortunate...
Brain: Fine. Look we'll just go for an hour. JUST AN HOUR. Then we come home.
Hands: (sings) I'ma grab some tittays in da strip cluuuub.
Brain: No, Hands. No grabbing. No drinking. No shooting. Everyone got that?
Dick: Of course, of course. There's just one problem. Jerry Jones ordered all the strip clubs in Dallas to bar Pacman Jones from entering.
Brain: That's why I changed it to Adam last month.
Legs: Wow.
Dick: I am impressed.
Hands: Yo Brain, you's a genius!
Brain: You know it. So should we call Tank?
Adam Jones' Stomach: Nah, fuck that. That fat bitch eat all my wings.
Brain: Good call. Alright let's go. Hands, get the weed.
