Friday, September 23, 2005

I'm gonna get quicker with these things, I swear.

These are the only people still writing letters.
Apparently Derek Jeter received some kind of threatening letter because of his "dating outside his race." At first you would think it's from some racist white guy, but he slams Jeter for being a "traitor to his race." It has to be a black guy, what white guy would care about Jeter's relationship with his own race. And what race is that by the way, considering his dad is black and his mom is white. Is the author suggesting he only date other women who are half black and half white? What if the woman's mom is black and her dad is white, is this within "Jeter's race" or is it different? I suppose this guy is opposed to all interracial relationships, and any relationship Jeter has is going to be interracial, if you think like that. And if he gets upset everytime Derek Jeter hooks up, then this guy is going to be furious. Just another retard from Ohio.

Oh and by the way, Ohio, I never thanked you for the last election! You really did the country a great service. Thank god we have W at a time like this. Quick, what's your favorite part about W: his lightning quick reaction time or his genuine care for all citizens? I know, I know, too tough to decide! Personally I like how he never puts his unqualified friends in high-ranking positions. I can't think of another person I'd rather have as our president right now, or ever! Thank god for W and thank god for Ohio. God bless America.

Speaking of hhhwhite bread
What the fuck is with all the nuts in bread now. What happened to white bread? It's like I'm in the Middle Ages. When I'm eating bread its almost 99% certain that I will be doing so in conjunction with other foods. I don't often just pick up a loaf of bread, pull out a slice, and take a bite. Therefore bread doesn't have to have all this personality of its own. Its basically just a holder for what I really want to eat. So theres no need to jazz bread up with all kinds of nuts, seeds, and swirls. And if you're one of these people with this in your house, then I hate you. If you offer me something to eat and I say yes and then you say, "Oh we only keep multi-grain hippie bread, it that alright?" Well theres no real way to answer that question is there? "Well you don't have a choice, but is this what you pick?" Uh yep guess so. I can't go, "Umm no thats not ok. Why don't you just go ahead and put that away. I've lost my appetite because of your creepy bread." White bread. Stop there. The end.

"If you were a man I would punch you. I'd punch you right in the face."
I'm so fucking sick of this voice mail woman. The one who drones on when your friend ignores your call. She talks for-ev-er. So many options: "...If you'd like to leave a numerical page, press 4. If you'd like to send an e-greeting, press 5. If you'd like this message is Spanish, press 6..." I want to leave a message and I will if you would ever shut the fuuuck up. I can't get a word in with this woman. The worst part is that I drift off while she talks for five minutes and then snap back to life when I hear the beep. At this point I'm completely unnerved and I've lost all poise, so every message sounds like,
"Umm Hey Brown this is Jackie...fuck...uh, obviously this is not Jackie...you're Jackie...and I'm guessing you know that...so umm anyway just uh call me back when you can, or when you want, and uh I'll see, I mean talk to you later."
Real sharp. If this keeps up I'm gonna become one of these anti-voicemail people. They don't leave messages and they don't check their own. I don't know how they do it, but I'll make that commitment to keep this woman out of my life. Thats the kind of commitment I'm good at.

And the scariest part is that it's a true story!
Apparently "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" is a very scary movie. This may very well be, I'm not debating that. In fact most of you who know me know that I'm easily scared by movies. Not chuckie movies or the Ring, but Halloween and movies that seem possible at least. And this is why I doubt that I would be scared of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. After stating this to the group of girls who just came from seeing the movie, they jumped all over me.

"What!?!? It's based on a true story Brown!!"
"Really? The true story of an exorcism? Well that's good, I sure hope they got that demon out of her."
"Oh what Brown, you're not Catholic?"
"No Vanessa I'm not Catholic. I don't believe in ghosts, goblins, and priests with superpowers."
"Ugh, why not? I'm Catholic!"

As if I hadn't realized that, and as if that was a reason that I should be. I won't rail against Catholicism at this time. Lets just say that these girls who claimed to be Catholic do not practice the tenets of Catholicism, as is the case with most Catholics. In fact, I've watched them violate some of these very specific tenets right before my very eyes. I'll write an entry about that one day, but it will be for mature audiences only.

1 comment:

sydsyd said...

may the power of christ compel you...ps i may drink a lot, but back in jesus' time all they drank was liquor because water was unsanitary. I cannot, however, say the same about my behavior, But i am a non-conformist, so it's ok.

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