tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-147326002011-07-28T17:25:49.827-04:00Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.comBlogger611100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-20348954812945049082009-04-01T12:52:00.006-04:002009-04-01T14:04:06.452-04:00

As some of you may know, I have interests outside of my day job. As fun as it is, it's not my life mission to explain to the elderly why they have no money left in their IRAs. Like most of you, I am a fan of comedy and have always felt like a career in this field would be very rewarding. I have wanted to try something in this field for a long time, but for various reasons excuses I haven't really

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-37007106577653470062009-03-20T13:00:00.002-04:002009-03-20T13:15:54.492-04:00

It took me ten minutes to look up the proper arrangement of "cop" and "out." Still not sure I got it right. Look at it up there. It looks weird. This one site said it had a hyphen but I said fuck that.Anyway, internet people, my very real girlfriend XG is going to visit her twin sister Ally this weekend. You may remember her from such blogs as:24 Hour Vacation -- The Travel Day24 Hour Vacation --

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-15344451727690672392009-03-06T09:52:00.006-05:002009-03-06T09:57:31.473-05:00

If you're the type of person to ask a friend for gum, and then you take two pieces of gum, well...then you're not the type of person I want to be friends with.Also, give me my gum back.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-12136337200040449722009-03-03T16:55:00.001-05:002009-03-03T16:59:40.692-05:00

For some reason, Chick-fil-A includes with your order one of those pillowy little mints they keep in a dish in your local diner. For some other reason, I decided to eat one. For a seriously troubling this-kid-might-need-help-before-he-loses-his-mind reason, I am live-blogging the experience.4:05 -- Opening it. Looking at it. I was hoping it would look like a name-brand mint. But no. Same

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-56840129808035358762009-02-27T11:30:00.003-05:002011-02-22T10:58:34.371-05:00

Well, I'm off to see Doctor Dickhole again tomorrow. The abscess went down when I took the antibiotics but not entirely. It feels like it has possibly entered my bloodstream and coursed its way down the inside of my arm. It is not visible, but the vein inside my arm feels as though it is solidifying like that kid from The Wish Giver. In the book, the girl wishes her boyfriend would "put down

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-53714056150253558422009-02-24T14:24:00.002-05:002009-04-15T18:41:13.670-04:00

Good afternoon, misdirected Google searchers! I'm sorry you did not find what you are looking for here. Blogger has a strict policy against posting bukkake videos. But before you navigate back to search again and feed the beast, please enjoy my comedic offerings that won't cost you a monthly fee or a visit from the FBI.The following is a list that should be self-explanatory if you bothered

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-69433614863735638072009-02-20T05:25:00.000-05:002009-02-20T17:35:06.462-05:00

MSN Lifestyle is back with more relationship tips. Let's discuss them in a fair open-minded forum that is definitely not sexist.18 Clues He's Still Crazy About YouYou say your husband can't express his feelings? Here are all the funny little ways he says, "I love you."By Ann Hodgman1. When you wear a T-shirt, boxers, and socks to bed, somehow he still thinks you're cute.Hey we're off to a great

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-44494862503052497822009-02-18T13:26:00.000-05:002009-02-18T13:29:16.504-05:00

This is the face that I look at every day. His name is Clement Price. He is on my homepage at work. He is speaking at a Black History Month event in Newark (!) today. I have no idea what he has to do with Prudential.But it's hard to look at that face every day and not wonder what the story is behind this picture. So to steal from honor The Sports Hernia, I present:Clement Price......has a closet

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-6805620697957079142009-02-11T12:22:00.001-05:002009-02-11T12:36:46.805-05:00

But don't tell all the victims of "Free Hug Day!"Look, I don't know what it is. It's a lump under my arm that keeps coming back. There are many possibilities including abscess, C. diff, MRSA, cancer...but not AIDS! Do NOT google image search them. I assure you that I have not become grotesque in the spirit of Tree Man. I remain classically grotesque. What I prefer to call "politely grotesque."

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-84562249366068861842009-02-10T18:10:00.001-05:002009-02-10T18:11:46.296-05:00

UPDATE: Addendum:I need to clarify my statement that 70% of my traffic comes from misdirected google searches. I was only referring to hits that are not me personally clicking refresh. I do not think it is fair to count those as page views, even though I could because I take the time to re-read my blog every time I hit refresh.So if you disclude the 17 hits that I account for, then there are

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-55359481631641579332009-02-10T14:00:00.000-05:002009-02-10T14:00:00.544-05:00

"I. Choose. BREAKING."This is one of my favorite movie quotes of all time. It is from the movie Sidekicks, when the villain dramatically chooses the event in which they will compete for the grand championship of fake karate tournaments. I know what you're thinking, and yes, this movie does feature a young Danica McKellar. If you need further proof of its greatness, check out these lines listed

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-75099115480354482892009-02-09T13:46:00.001-05:002009-02-09T13:46:56.723-05:00

I had no idea the Grammy's were on yesterday. I mean NO idea. Zero. Was it even yesterday? Saturday? I don't know.A real entry is coming soon.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-7682393732043002462009-02-05T19:20:00.003-05:002009-02-05T19:30:09.125-05:00

After I wrote that last entry, I sat back proudly as I thought I coined the word "nonecdote."It turns out that this Urban Dictionary entry confirms I did not.Unfortunate.I still think I might have.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-74392853291357533102009-02-05T17:05:00.000-05:002009-02-05T17:06:29.328-05:00

It occurs to me that these boring little two sentence posts would be better served on a Twitter page.That's right. I found out what Twitter is.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-8854625806284286682009-02-05T17:02:00.000-05:002009-02-05T17:03:02.157-05:00

I saw a pre-made tuna sandwich wrapped in plastic in the cafeteria.I should NOT have eaten that.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-43006444589902673852009-02-05T15:49:00.000-05:002009-02-05T15:49:11.959-05:00

The office lady who told me I look like Owen Wilson (both of those conversations really happened) just walked by my desk.She said, "Hello, Mr. Olsen."I assume that she meant "Mr. Wilson" or "Owen Wilson," and not my neighbor "Mr. Olsen." She got it wrong the first time she tried to tell me too. She said "You look like that actor. What's his name? Wilson Owen."I don't know. She's from

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-67428189550810405932009-02-02T18:34:00.001-05:002009-02-02T18:34:44.371-05:00

Office Lady: You got a haircut.Brown: Yes.Office Lady: You still look like Owen Wilson.Brown: I do?Office Lady: Yes. I just confirmed it with another woman here. She agreed.Brown: ....Ohhh I get it. You hate me.Office Lady: Yes.Brown: Very well. ...Did you watch the Super Bowl?Office Lady: Could you go sit back down now?Brown: But I'm not that bad of a guy.Office Lady: Are you

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-76417048113725064392009-02-02T13:15:00.001-05:002009-02-02T13:24:55.400-05:00

I fixed the internet in my house so I can go back to blogging.And by "fixed the internet in my house," I mean stole someone else's internet.And by "blogging," I mean losing money at online poker.And by "good news," I mean no one really cares.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-57751646103845082592009-01-29T16:00:00.003-05:002009-01-30T11:40:09.538-05:00

I was walking past this woman's desk and she goes, "You look like Owen Wilson."And I said, "Really? Umm...thank you?"And she said, "Yeah. Right after he tried to kill himself."I said, "That seems overly harsh. How long ago did it take you to think of that?"She said, "I just thought of it now."I said, "Last night?"She said, "Earlier this morning."I said, "Ah."She said, "Seriously, though. Get a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-71580402865345291022009-01-29T11:01:00.002-05:002009-01-29T11:58:49.220-05:00

This coffee tastes like pencils.It always tastes like pencils. I've resigned to drink pencil-flavored coffee for the rest of my life. I don't really know how to make it. That is all.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-65839802735598030682009-01-28T13:17:00.015-05:002009-01-28T14:37:03.788-05:00

I haven't been posting because the internet in my house isn't working. I know that sounds like an excuse but it's the truth. I am posting this from work because they let me out of my cage for 15 minutes of Internet Free Time Minus Any Sites Containing Porn, Pornographic Images, References to Porn, the Word "Porn," Pornography, or Anything Mildly Interesting. I've talked to them about changing

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-79459816209529082312009-01-08T16:50:00.000-05:002009-01-08T16:50:46.099-05:00

That's the look of a leader. The look of a champion. The look of a Carl.It just goes to show you. Hard work, dedication, and guts can get you a million dollar contract.But laziness, apathy, and generally being a pussy works too, apparently.Oh and I almost forgot. Happy birthday, fuckface!

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-67324910212584401682009-01-06T15:09:00.001-05:002009-01-06T16:20:38.898-05:00

Whenever you feel like you've got nothing to write about, you can always count on MSN Lifestyle to provide you with hours of entertainment. The Lifestyle section deals mainly in relationship advice and diet tips usually reserved for the cover of Cosmo. You'd think these articles would be weak, tepid fluff pieces with little or no redeeming value. But you'd be wrong. They're abominations of human

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-6842229280120642852008-12-26T11:52:00.009-05:002008-12-30T21:45:04.779-05:00

Can you wish someone a Merry Belated Christmas? I really don't think so. And yet, here we are, days after Christmas, and I'm wishing you a merry one. So you put it together.I promise I have plenty of blogs to come. Real entries with real comedy attempts at comedy. I've just been busy these last few weeks. I'd like to tell you that it was because of my girlfriend, and shopping, and holiday parties

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-13528336392134021272008-12-04T01:36:00.002-05:002008-12-04T11:21:10.728-05:00

Adam Jones' Brain: Connect four.Adam Jones' Hands: Wait.....hold on............Brain: You see, it's diagonal. I started in the corner and-Hands: Hold on wait......how......and then the red one went here and......awww FUCK!Brain: Sorry.Adam smacks the game off the table.Hands: Yo I hate dis game! Why we gotta sit inside all day playin pussy games? I wanna play dat old game we usedta play. Memba'

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-599085355416250952008-11-22T12:36:00.016-05:002008-11-28T10:24:59.325-05:00

At one time in the past, I wrote a movie review entry. In keeping with my typical lack of motivation, creativity, and funny ideas, I never wrote a second installment. You'd think that it would be pretty easy to write a simple follow-up entry, but then you wouldn't know me very well.As in the original, I do these reviews using information from commercials I may have seen, things I may or may not

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-66745789605226126022008-11-18T01:32:00.020-05:002008-11-19T12:45:57.646-05:00

As you all know, the Tennessee Titans are undefeated ten games into this NFL season. 10-0 is a very impressive mark at this point in the season. In fact, it's perfect. But nothing in the NFL is truly impressive until Mercury Morris weighs in on it.You see, Mercury Morris played for the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only NFL team to ever complete an undefeated season and win the championship. But of

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-87857939515503973992008-11-06T22:13:00.000-05:002008-11-06T22:13:03.157-05:00

Hi! How are you? Waaazzzuuupppp? It's been a long time, so I just wanted to reach out and touch base with you. First of all, let me be the first to say, "Congratulations!" Well perhaps not the first, but I can't even tell you how happy I am for you. I hope it's everything you dreamed it would be. You're in for a wild ride!In an effort to facilitate the transition into the presidency, I thought I

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-46038976410190312032008-10-30T13:55:00.019-04:002008-10-30T22:32:59.490-04:00

Father Paul Minnihan stands at a podium before a crowd of people outside of his cathedral.Father Paul: Today, the people of the world face an uncertain future. The global economy is in recession, our political leaders are divisive, and the moral decay of our families and neighborhoods seems rampant. Now, more than ever, people need The Church to help guide them through these tumultuous times.But

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-41270321624426776322008-10-21T20:07:00.024-04:002008-10-25T11:51:23.041-04:00

1. My girlfriend has a gambling problem.After I graduated college, I was out of work for about two years. During this time, I played poker to make a living. I started off as a mediocre player, but I studied the game as much as I could...when I wasn't drinking heavily. Eventually, I made myself into a pretty good online player and an even better live player. I became quite profitable...or

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-79166947038801129472008-10-15T20:45:00.005-04:002008-10-16T11:08:37.518-04:00

Adam Jones' Brain: What did I say..Adam Jones' Hands: Yo. Aight first off-Brain: What did I say..Hands: Yo, I'm sayin'-Brain: WHAT. DID I. SAY..Hands: Shiiiit. Aight. You said don't do anything wit'out axin you first.Brain: Thank you. But did you listen to me? Nooooo. Do you ever listen to me? NOOOOO.Hands: But yo I'm sayin' it wasn't even my fault!Brain: Of course it wasn't! It's never your

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-46855774155310582342008-10-05T17:30:00.009-04:002008-10-05T18:11:04.649-04:00

I don't want to alarm anyone, but our country is in grave danger. You may or may not be aware of it, but it stands to threaten each and every person in America. We need to band together in a bipartisan effort to fight this evil before we are all subject to the most dire of consequences.In case you haven't seen it already, a California Raisin is on NFL Countdown. If they've already infiltrated

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-29999382075891449012008-10-02T17:54:00.002-04:002008-10-03T19:44:07.193-04:00

Willie Randolph walks up to an unlit house reading a piece of paper. He knocks on the door.Willie Randolph: Hello? Umm...I got a letter that said I should come here? Is- is anyone there?Willie slowly opens the door and the lights go on.Everyone: SURPRISE!!!Willie: "Surprise?" But it's not my birthday.Bill Buckner walks forward.Bill Buckner: See, guys, I told you "surprise" was stupid. Hey, Willie

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-19956032704583339452008-09-24T13:40:00.001-04:002008-09-24T15:25:59.401-04:00

If all I had to do was write a blog, I could generate original material every day. But that's not the case. I have a shitty job that crushes my soul. I have an hour commute that sucks the life out of me. I have a dog that is not house-trained. I have a girlfriend who wants to watch the Sex and the City movie at a volume of about 96 that makes it hard for me to even follow my own thoughts much

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-7634354411959262172008-09-17T19:35:00.008-04:002008-09-17T20:41:35.910-04:00

Mark Ingram is going to prison.If ever there was a picture that was made for The Sports Hernia.Have you ever seen one of those old movies where a guy would escape from prison, and a guard in a tower would shine a giant spotlight on him, and he would freeze, and his eyes would fixate like a deer in headlights? Well if you have, Mr. Ingram would love for you to show him that movie, because he is

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-86969410211960640372008-09-16T20:21:00.007-04:002008-09-16T20:47:57.651-04:00

Carson Palmer and Carl Pavano talk on the phone while they watch Monday Night Football.Carl: See, Carson? We could have hurt ourselves if we attempted that high five. A handshake is always your best bet.Carson: You're right, Carl. You're always right. You're the best...via Deadspin:video link

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-86510328636789035472008-09-14T18:02:00.003-04:002008-09-14T18:13:14.138-04:00

Self-Delusional Sports Rehab: Where Athletes Go to Pretend They Can Become the Athletes They Once WereCarl Pavano: Hey, Carson! How you been, man? Great to see you.Carson Palmer enters carrying a large gym bag.Carson Palmer: Not so good, Carl. What are you doin here?Carl: Oh, I'm always here, man.Carson: But didn't the Yankees call you up?Carl: Ehh. Yes. But I prefer it here. But what's up with

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-46840191797088520822008-09-11T19:21:00.009-04:002008-09-11T21:24:20.005-04:00

Adam Pacman Jones' organs have a conversation.Adam Jones' Brain: That was amazing. What a game! I can't believe we went a year without playing football!Adam Jones' Legs: Hell yeah, man. I'm tired as shit but it was worth it. So much fun gettin back out there.Adam Jones' Hands: Word, son. I'm gonna have a hun'id innaceptions.Brain: Okay, okay I'm excited too. But we still have work to do, boys.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-44440195568748401342008-09-10T11:59:00.014-04:002008-09-10T15:46:13.698-04:00

After a three year hiatus, I am returning to blogspot. It seems that in my absence, there have been a lot of pretenders to the throne vying for my spot. I'm sorry that you all had to put up with such worthless posers in my wake, but no longer. I am the Marlo Stanfield of the internet, and I plan on doing some housekeeping around here. I will eliminate all my competition and reclaim my rightful

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-47591047296519275252008-08-25T17:50:00.008-04:002008-09-06T12:17:45.432-04:00

I consider myself a man of principle. A man of integrity. A man of class.I have a strong sense of right and wrong, and I act accordingly.I treat people how I would like to be treated.I am a man of my word. A man of loyalty. A man of standards.Other people may dime on their co-workers, throw others under the bus, and look out for number one in every circumstance. I, however, refuse to lower my

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-79265320366299658352008-07-29T20:10:00.001-04:002008-09-06T11:56:28.890-04:00

The titles haven't made sense to this point. Why start now?The dinner and subsequent night out weren't as eventful. I think we were definitely on the backside of the mountain. I'm pretty sure we peaked when John rolled in the house with coke and pizza, yet no soda. I'm still thinking about that guy, actually. He was like this Dickensian character, if they did mountains of blow. Did I mention this

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-2727566798029862032008-07-14T21:41:00.004-04:002009-03-21T09:41:21.909-04:00

If you haven't read Travel Day, go back and read it.I know what you're thinking. "Brown, if it's a 24 Hour Vacation, how is one day a Travel Day?" Well the answer is that since the vacation was so short, it was like we were basically traveling the entire time, thus making it a "travel day."The real answer is that I'm an idiot and I fucked up. Are you happy now? I shit the bed, okay? Jesus what is

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-17862256582682264792008-07-02T19:09:00.002-04:002009-03-21T09:30:38.824-04:00

The Good News I Don't Have Arm Cancer series is on hold until further notice.That notice is now.It is no longer on hold. It is permanently discontinued.I have to bump those entries because this past weekend needs addressing. I went down to Myrtle Beach, SC to meet Xmas Girl's grandma and some extended family. Obviously this went off without a hitch, and there's virtually nothing to write about.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-15174222090855353802008-06-09T20:22:00.000-04:002008-09-16T22:04:40.202-04:00

I never go to hospitals. I don't know if it's a male thing or I'm just scared to find out what all these curious ailments and disconcerting pains are, but I never go. But recently I forgot to bring deodorant to Xmas Girl's place, so I borrowed her Lady SpeedStick. I'd be lying if I said this was the first time I've worn women's deodorant, so I didn't really think it would be a problem. After

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-28961365906870273892007-09-04T22:20:00.000-04:002007-09-04T22:27:39.349-04:00

It seems I certainly made that last post up, but you're only one link away from the real:Brown is the New Black_

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-54965649141120273682007-08-15T17:23:00.001-04:002007-08-15T17:32:37.432-04:00

Yeah like 2 years ago blogspot sucked so I dipped out and went to livejournal, which I still update here:http://bbrown0707.livejournal.comI mirrored the posts here for a while but it got to be too much work. I think there's an autofeeder for these "blogs" now, so if anyone wants to show me how do it for me, that would be great to have both operational and updated.If not, it's cool. There's a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1129874242532774832005-10-21T01:56:00.000-04:002005-10-21T01:57:22.546-04:00

So recently I was looking for a job and I saw an ad in the paper. It said something about clerical work ideal for history majors or something. To most of you that probably sounds boring, but when I read it I thought I'd be like Indiana Jones' assistant, translating ancient texts and exploring temples. No don't worry I know I'd probably be doing gay office work but that's fine I was ready to bite

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1129149688106608682005-10-12T16:40:00.000-04:002005-10-12T16:41:28.116-04:00

Congratulations Yankee-hating America. You got just what you wanted: a World Series no one will ever want to watch. What provocative rivalry will we see next week? Astros vs. Angels? Cardinals vs. White Sox? Can't you feel yourself wondering what else is on already? No one cares about these four teams, and don't try to convince yourself that you do. I went through that experience last

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1128047500099411712005-09-29T22:23:00.000-04:002005-09-30T14:06:41.363-04:00

As some of you may know from an earlier entry, I haven't played online poker since I quit in March. The only exception to that being when they credited me 50 bucks as an incentive to start playing again. Woo-hoo. What they didn't tell me about that 50 bucks, though, was that they were taking it back in 4 days. Boo-hoo. Nice to see that loan sharking is still a part of legitimate gambling today.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1128020110107981602005-09-29T14:54:00.000-04:002005-10-04T19:22:12.983-04:00

I sure hope this isn't just me...I seem to frequently lose my cell phone. I don't mean "lose" in the Bill Noesges sense, i.e. spiking it into a pool, leaving it at complete strangers' houses, and punting it across a parking lot. I mean I lose it like normal people, you know, everyone besides those creeps who use the holster. But being straight means not using the clip and not using the clip means

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1127461749453005792005-09-23T03:42:00.000-04:002005-09-27T19:15:51.590-04:00

These are the only people still writing letters.Apparently Derek Jeter received some kind of threatening letter because of his "dating outside his race." At first you would think it's from some racist white guy, but he slams Jeter for being a "traitor to his race." It has to be a black guy, what white guy would care about Jeter's relationship with his own race. And what race is that by the way,

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1126674995795517852005-09-14T00:55:00.000-04:002005-09-19T19:23:28.923-04:00

Finally a show with an important message: It's not okay to be fat.My reality shows are back. Listen to me, I'm like an old lady with soap operas. I can't help it, I get great enjoyment from a few reality shows. With Real World and Road Rules sucking ass for the past 3 years, I've moved on to a couple others. Wife Swap is one of my favorites, for obvious reasons, but The Biggest Loser is even

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1126048955256359732005-09-06T19:18:00.000-04:002005-09-06T19:24:11.423-04:00

I was never quite sure what that expression meant. I think I always assumed that it meant something like, when things get hard, you buckle down and get through it. But that's not really what it sounds like when you read it. So I've taken a more literal interpretation of it and it's become my life motto. When the going gets tough, the tough get the fuck outta dodge. Can't stand going out in

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1124571511902573202005-08-20T16:55:00.000-04:002005-08-20T16:58:45.043-04:00

No but please tell me! It's getting a bit ridiculous. I can't leave the house without being told that I look like some actor. I know what you're thinking, "Easy, Brown, you're not a superstar." Well no fuckin duh. The point is that these are not flattering comparisons. There's nothing to brag about here, its just a weird thing for anyone to do, especially with these names. Here's a quick run-down

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1124259095011743322005-08-17T02:09:00.000-04:002005-08-17T19:07:35.466-04:00

Waaahhh, I'm a millionaire superstar hunk with a good reputation, waaahhhLet's get this out of the way. I like Tom Brady. I do. I fucking hate Boston and all their gay fans, but I like Tom Brady. I think he's a cool guy and a great quarterback who is on his way to becoming a legend.[Not quite a "legend" yet. I was pursued in an argument about this just before the last Super Bowl. A fat

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1123561398664723132005-08-09T00:22:00.000-04:002005-08-10T17:12:18.810-04:00

Voted Best Smelling Reggie in North AlabamaRight off the bat let me just say if you haven't seen the video for Get Well Soon by Reggie and the Full Effect, then do yourself a favor and watch it now. If you don't feel bad for Nessie in that video then you have no soul. Amazing that they take a seemingly ridiculous premise and turn it into something powerful that you can actually identity with. I

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1123139554419319402005-08-04T02:57:00.000-04:002005-08-04T19:38:59.986-04:00

It's been a while so lets get caught up. I'm totally out of my element: I haven't been to a bar in weeks, I actually went to the beach, and [earmuffs to under 16 and over 30] I got laid. What's the world coming to. These things don't go together. Naturally, I have no idea how to gather it all up succinctly under one heading, so it will come out as I think of it, cause its my blog and I'll do what

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1122615680379846522005-07-29T00:43:00.000-04:002005-07-29T03:36:31.290-04:00

This week I spent a couple days in Lake George, NY, a place I hadn't been in 8 years. Eight years, I found that pretty disturbing. I guess I'm actually getting to the age where I can get old man nostalgia. Up until now the longest I went without revisiting some place was probably a year. You waited 12 whole months to get back to the Pocono Cup soccer tournament to enjoy those delicious funnel

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1122192547822697082005-07-24T04:08:00.000-04:002005-07-24T14:41:37.113-04:00

...Everybody thinks they're the best, but most people dont know what the hell they're doing." This is a quote from young poker player Dutch Boyd at the 2003 World Series of Poker. With poker becoming even more popular since then, you run into quite a few people who say they play, and more often than not they aren't very shy about it. Typically it's a friend of a friend or a girl's outsider

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1122081452318306122005-07-22T21:00:00.000-04:002005-07-23T05:20:00.616-04:00

Before I start giving you what you really want, an in-depth look at my fascinating jet-set lifestyle, a few things must be said. Don't take it personally, unless you do any of these things, in which case take out a pen. T-shirts: Do not wear a shirt with a "clever" saying on it. Why? It's probbbbably not as clever as you think. In fact, it's probably not clever at all. I'm guilty too, I'll admit

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14732600.post-1122069004014313522005-07-22T16:49:00.000-04:002005-07-22T20:39:44.763-04:00

Starting a blog proved to be more difficult than I imagined. First, I have to point out that this blog has only come into fruition because of a difficulty I have with writing, not the ideas mind you but the physical act of writing. I've determined I'm no good with pens. It started in elementary school. I used to hold it like between my ring, middle, and thumb, or some otherwise retarded

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17229917403907988105noreply@blogger.com0